Forget all the other stuff, basically women go for men with expensive cars.
Somewhere back in the middle of the 20th century, someone starting spreading the malicious idea that what women want is a man who is sensitive, intelligent, sensual, mature, a good listener, and kind to pets, kids, and her girlfriends. Being handsome and having a good “package” were, of course, assumed to be important.
Now, as we enter the second decade of a new century, we are learning that all that other stuff is superfluous. A new study tells us what we’ve always known — most women are unabashedly shallow human beings who put financial assets far ahead of any other personal trinkets we might bring to the relationship.
In the study, most women found men more attractive when they drove an expensive, fancy car. Men, on the other hand, did not find women who drove expensive cars to be more attractive. They did, however, find women with large breasts to be more attractive.
At least that makes sense.
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Do You Suffer from “Irritable Home Syndrome”?
What’s worse than penis envy and more expensive to fix?
Answer: big, fancy houses, houses that are bigger than yours, more elegant houses, houses that scream “I’ve made it!” while in your psyche, the opposite message tearing out your self-confidence: “I didn’t make it.”
With all the emphasis on large estates, McMansions, home improvement mania, and that killer green monster inside most of us, it is no surprise that many homeowners are suffering from what is not called “Irritable Home Syndrome.”
According to health psychologist David Moxon, bombarded by images of luxury lifestyles, home makeovers and celebrity homes, the pressure to keep up home appearances leaves almost one in five of us feeling stressed, depressed or worried by negative feelings about where we live.
He believes that, as our homes are increasingly seen as a reflection of our personalities, we are becoming increasingly affected by negative feelings about where we live.
Writing in the Aberdeen (NZ) Press and Journal, Susam Welsh lists the five main signs that you might have “Irrirable House Syndrome” –
- Deliberately wanting to spend as little time in the home as possible. That includes staying longer at work, going out every evening and eating out a lot.
- Housework neglect and clutter – totally ignoring the cleaning and tidying, and feeling apathy towards household chores.
- Constantly feeling the urge to move furniture and other items around and never being content with the outcome.
- Always comparing your home with other people’s and feeling saddened and frustrated by this process.
- Reluctance to invite people around or host social events in your home. On odd occasions that you do have friends round, you spend the evening apologising for the state of your home.
Moxon says that while it is not only unrealistic to think they can “sing like a chart topper, it’s equally unrealistic and unhealthy to think they can copy the interior design of a celebrity’s multimillion-pound home. They need to look at what home really means. While the colour of their walls and size of their flat-screen are important, what’s essential is the understanding that home is the one place they can call their own, miss when they’re away and retreat to in times of solace.”
How to regain control over your negative feelings about your home?
- Get in touch with the way your home makes you feel. What emotions does it evoke in you?
- Try to identify precisely what it is about your home that you dislike. To keep it as objective as possible, get a close friend to help.
- Next, make a list of corrections/alterations that would rectify the problems – but be realistic. This isn’t necessarily about flexing the credit card.
- Cost out the revamp. Remember, in many cases, it may simply involve throwing things out, tidying and organising.
- Now you have a plan, work through it systematically and stick to it.
Rather than feeling overwhelmed with gloom regarding your home, be proactive – take control.
Married Couples and Joint Checking Accounts – Yes or No?
One of our favorite money blogs weighs in with an opinion. Read this and visit their blog.
My opinion: men and women will argue about money no matter what you do. Even if you give her ALL your money, you will still argue about money — it won’t be enough, you’re hiding some somewhere. So take this advice for what it’s worth. . . .
Whether you are newly married or you’ve been married for 20 years, the debate over joint versus separate bank accounts is a hot topic among married couples. Some couples swear by separate bank accounts, and other couples think joint accounts are the only way to go. I’ll give you my opinion over the debate, the best checking accounts for married couples, and a strategy for making the joint checking account work.
Joint vs. Separate Accounts
I have a strong opinion about this debate. I think that all married couples, new and old, should hold joint checking and savings accounts. I understand the argument for separate accounts, but when you said “I do” at the altar, you made a commitment to become one cohesive unit. You are a team, and you need to act like one. When you choose not to share your finances, you are choosing not to share one of the most important aspects of your lives. You can give me all of the excuses about how it works better with separate accounts, and it’s too confusing to share money. The reality is that you don’t trust each other, and you won’t put the time into sharing your money. Don’t settle for the compromise of spending whatever you make. Your marriage is not a business partnership, and if you weren’t ready to give up control of your money, then you weren’t ready to get married.
Responses To Advocates Of Separate Bank Accounts
“She/He spends too much money, and he/she won’t listen to me when it comes to saving money” The answer to this problem is communication and/or marriage counseling, not separate bank accounts. If your spouse refuses to change their financial habits and they are reckless with money, then you don’t have a financial problem. You have a marriage problem. You need to find common ground as a married couple, and help each other rather than get mad at each other. If you can’t communicate and resolve the problem on your own, see a marriage counselor. There may be a bigger issue that one of you isn’t talking about.
“It’s too confusing to share money. I’m afraid that we’ll overdraft on our account.” This is the excuse of a lazy couple that doesn’t want to communicate and budget money together. The solution to this problem is getting on a budget, and planning how you will spend your money each month. Set aside two hours each month to go over your budget and finances for the month with your spouse.
“She/He brought more debt into the marriage. She/He should pay it off on his/her own.” I’ve actually heard people say this before, and it makes me cringe every time I hear it. When you get married, you are coming together become one person, one flesh. You work as a team, and you help each other no matter what. If your spouse is bringing in a bunch of debt to the marriage, it’s now your debt. I don’t care who’s name is on the debt. You have an obligation as a marriage partner to share that debt.
Strategies for Sharing Bank Accounts
Our Strategy: I married a girl who is more frugal than me. In fact, she makes fun of me for the gadget cravings that I get and my weakness for spending money when we go out at night on a date. I got lucky. I never worry about her going on a spending spree with our money. She follows our budget religiously. There was no question when we got married that we would share a checking and savings account. We have a Bank of America checking account for convenience, and we have an ING savings account for short-term savings. I have a 401k for retirement, and now that she’s working, we’re going to open up Roth IRA’s with Sharebuilder in the coming months. We’ve shared a checking account for three years, and it’s been a great decision. We sit down every two weeks to go over our finances and map out what we’re going to do with OUR money, even though I was the only income producer for the past three years.
Joint Checking Account with Two Separate Checking Accounts: If you simply can’t grasp the concept of having one joint checking account, then try this method. Keep a joint account that feeds all of your income into it, and pay all of your bills through this account. Keep a separate checking account for yourself and for your spouse. Divide up 5 to 10% of your income into the separate accounts. Make a pact that you can do whatever you want with that money and your spouse can’t question you about it (as long as its legal! haha). My wife and I do something similar with cash. We give each other a certain amount of money each month called “mad money”, but instead of putting it in separate accounts, we keep it as cash. I like having some cash on me at all times, because there are still situations in life where you can’t swipe a piece of plastic, and sometimes cash speaks louder than plastic.
Checking Accounts of Interest for Married Couples
I know that i made some bold statements in this article, but I will stand by them. It was not my intention to offend you, but I hope it gets you thinking about your current financial set-up with your spouse. I am sure there are people out there that have separate checking accounts with a healthy marriage, but it is the minority. Think of this is a challenge to get you to think differently, not an attack on your current opinions. You must be on the same page with your finances, and sharing every aspect of it is part of the foundation of a healthy marriage.
For more money tips for couples you can read about budgeting money for newlyweds, tips for finding an apartment after marriage, and a couples guide to buying an affordable house.
This article on joint bank accounts in marriage is part of the Marriage Money Guide.
