Why sex is good for you!
by Peter Wilson
Sex! Such a great thing right? (Well duh!) We all know it feels good, can make us snap out of a bad mood and can make us sleep much better, but recent studies show just how good it really is for you!
Studies now show that more “good” comes from sex than you may have ever realized! Ever notice how after sex you feel so much better? That’s because studies have proven that sex relieves stress and lowers blood pressure. Sex is also good for combating the common cold. That’s because frequent sex boosts immunity by increasing levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA.
For those of you wanting to lose some weight, well, increase the “lovey dovey” time! Experts agree that sex is a great exercise and studies show that 30 minutes of sex can burn about 85 calories! Do the math and you’ll see just how much calories you can burn! If you are like most people, you’d probably rather spend time burning calories in the bedroom rather that on some treadmill at the gym.
Now, one of the more important benefits of sex is the effect it has on the cardiovascular system. In a study that was published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, researchers found that men who have sex two or more times per week reduced their chances of a fatal heart attack by half. That’s right!…by half! That is definitely worth noting!
Sex also increases levels of oxytocin which improves intimacy and causes levels of endorphins to rise, thus reducing pain and giving a person a natural high. Studies have also shown that men who had frequent sex in their earlier years had lower chances of developing prostate cancer. Frequent sex was defined as two to three times a week.
Lastly, sex strengthens the pelvic floor. This comes in handy later on in life! By having a strong pelvic floor, a person lowers their chances of having incontinence.
Restoring Trust in a Relationship: Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair.
by Karen Martinez
How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.
Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease. What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming? You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling. But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
You might want to check out “The Magic of Making Up” yourself. http://381949.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
Online Sexual Fantasies and “Long Distance Cheating.”
A few days ago I had a long online chat with a woman I have known only via the Internet for about two years. During that time we only communicated by messages and by making sometimes flirtatious comments on our web pages. We wrote a lot about our families, what was going on in our lives. We got to know each other pretty well — the good and the bad. We became real friends — to whatever degree the term “real” can apply to an online relationship.
During the past few months, however, the communications have become more sexual in nature. She started sending me pictures of herself in various seductive poses; I would talk about some of my recent and not-so-recent sexual encounters — names changed to protect the guilty, of course!
For weeks she had been trying to get me to call her, which I was reluctant to do. Eventually, though, we ended up in a long online chat, a first for us. It quickly turned into a sexual ritual, that special erotic dance men and women do before they get down to the serious stuff. As the flirtatious dance got more serious, she hit me with a question I wasn’t expecting and which I answered with all the sensitivity of a 10-year-old.
She asked me if I ever had sexual fantasies about her. I told her, “No,” I hadn’t.
OK. Big mistake, I should have been a gentleman and lied and said “sometimes” or even an evasive, “Well, who wouldn’t, you sexy thing!” Instead, I just blurted out the truth. “No.”
In addition to just being stupid, there were two other reasons for my klutzy response. First, she is a married woman with several kids, into her second marriage now and I am single, and second we live well over a thousand miles apart. However things might evolve, the likelihood of our relationship becoming more than just an Internet sex fantasy seemed remote.
For myself, my marital status — single — means that I can still have guilt-free, real relationships with available single women. Not that I do that often, but that’s the theory anyway. Even online sexual flirtations with other single women have a different dimension. No one is cheating on anyone else. Done right, no one should come out of an online affair hurting anyone else.
In her case, her fantasy of me is not real, she is not available, and it has the potential of damaging her marriage. I can hear the Greek Chorus out there saying, “What business is it of yours, Sky? If the woman wants to have long distance fantasies, that’s her choice. Just go with the flow and have some fun!”
From what she has told me, her husband — who travels a lot — has no idea that she is online looking for sexual encounters with strangers like me. I guess the question, to put it in its crudest form, is whether there’s something wrong if she gets her sexual release with strange men like me and her husband doesn’t know about it? Unless she decides to tell her husband, I am part of a deception that could possible destroy her marriage. I know enough about her to understand that the foundation of her relationship with Hubby is not all that strong to begin with — otherwise, why flirt with me? Getting caught in an online affair could possibly have dire consequences for her and her children. Do I want to be responsible for that?
I think the topic raises two important issues: the issue of honesty with your partner, and the openness with which partners can discuss their sexual fantasies.
Should you tell your partner that you have these kinds of fantasies and online relationships?
My reaction is, “No.” Most people simply are not secure enough in themselves and in their relationships to hear about their partner participating some kind of cyber-fuck with other people. If you say you are having sexual fantasies about another man, most men are going to get very pissed about it. We don’t like having competition we can’t punch out in a face-to-face confrontation.
If the roles were reversed and a guy tells his partner that he’s got this hot, online chick that can really turn him on, most women are not likely to welcome the news. Most will be jealous as hell and insist on knowing all the sordid details. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn’t rip out your Internet cable connection and smash your lovely LCD computer screen.
All these new ways of “getting it on” do not change human nature.
Consider, also, the likelihood that your online fantasy lover will find his or her way into the family bed. So there you are trying to make love to your lifetime partner and in the back of your mind is some delicious-looking lady you have been chatting with online. What then? Do you tell your partner?
A Web MD article recently looked at the pros and cons of admitting these fantasies:
One good reason to remain mum, says Barbara Bartlik, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, is that the majority of people in long-term, fulfilling sexual relationships do not necessarily think about their partner when they’re at the height of sexual passion. But even though both partners might routinely think of something other than each other, revealing this may result in hurt feelings.
That’s putting it lightly. An additional problem with online fantasies is that they are not just fantasies — often they involve each partner masturbating while the phone call or chat proceeds to more erotic subjects. The basic rule of ethical behavior is that you can think what you want, but once your thoughts are turned into action, then an important ethical and moral line has been crossed. Assuming one of us is already in a relationship, do I actually have to be in your bed, making love to you, before our act can be considered “cheating”?
The other side of this argument might be — and perhaps in the case of my friend — that by having these online sexual trysts she is in fact saving her marriage. She is less likely to have a “real” affair with some Bozo in the house or condo next door. On the “cheating scale,” I guess that is true: long-distance, online affairs are neater, easier to hide, usually easier to end, and — like so much of our imaginary cyber-lives – it doesn’t seem completely real.
So, when Hubby or the Mrs. wants to know if we’ve been true, we can answer with a straight face, “Honey, the only one really in my life is you!”
